How Temporary Car Insurance Will Save Mankind

Hello, I’m from the future. Yep, time travel is not only possible but it’s way easier than anyone from your century ever thought it would be. It turns out all you need to build a time machine is a toothpick, some scotch tape, a piece of already-been-chewed sugarless bubble-gum and half a roll of duct tape. Someone figured it all out late in the 27th Century after digging up an old-style DVD with season 3 of MacGyver on it. Okay, you also need a 9000 megajoule pocket laser. Still, time travel is way simpler than predicting the stock market or figuring out women, though we are getting closer to one of those. You can probably guess which one.

On a SERIOUS note you can buy excellent UK temporary car insurance from here!

Anyhow, I didn’t come all these years to tell you that women are impossible and the stock market is rigged. I’m here to tell you that you need to celebrate the value of temporary car insurance and encourage its use well into the future. Your future, that is. My past. Try to keep up.

So, you ask, why the big deal about temporary car insurance? Why didn’t I come here to steer you towards a brighter tomorrow or to warn you of some impending apocalyptic disaster that will wipe out humanity. Stop asking questions, you backwards relic of a forgotten past! Just listen to what I have to say and all will be revealed.

How I love condescending to the less chronologically advanced!

Here’s the deal, relic. Temporary car insurance is a concept that, once it evolves, will be applied on an planetary scale. It will be called temporary planetary insurance and it will include collision - which is a good thing because, back in the year 3786, Earth will collide with a planet called Chevyimpala. How this comes to be or, for that matter, how Chevyimpala got its name is none of your business.

All you need to know is that some 300 years earlier, in the year 3491, the governments of Earth all chipped in and, thanks to a matching grant from Microsoft, came up with the cash to purchase a temporary planetary insurance policy that included collision. While some people grumbled as, over the course of the next three centuries, the policy was renewed again and again, those same people all felt like idiots when we the Earth bumped into Chevyimpala. Anyway, those who didn’t die from old age or perish in the collision or the fifty years of famine, plague and lousy cell phone reception that ensued - those people felt like idiots.

And they should have felt like idiots because, after the accident, the Chevyimpalans threatened to wipe out what was left of humanity. They blamed Earth for the mishap, saying we should have been watching where we were going and insisting that we pay for the damage to their world even though it looked like some of that damage might have been there already, before the accident. We weren’t in a position to quibble: just six months earlier we had traded all of our weapons of mass destruction to the people of Pizzahutia for a super duper large with extra cheese, hold the anchovies. Anyway, we had the insurance so no harm no foul. We paid the Chevyimpalans off and they left us alone after that. Mankind survived and, eventually, with help from another Microsoft grant, we rebuilt our own world.

The point is that Temporary Car Insurance must flourish in your time so that it can evolve to save Earth. Don’t screw this up.

And while I have your attention, here’s one more piece of advice for you humans of the 21st Century. Don’t bet on the Chicago Cubs to win the World Series. Some things just aren’t meant to be.

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